Krampus is Austria’s Christmas Spirit who terrifies children into behaving. On December 5th, many used to post a secret card to someone they admired as a naughty unofficial Valentine. The cards were free to send, with the recipient paying postage when they arrived

This tradition, known as a “Gruß vom Krampus” (Greetings from Krampus), was often laced with humor. The Krampus was a bit of a dirty old man. The older cards, in particular, seem to have darker, more risqué humor. Now, I know that Google is not the best translator, and when it comes to sayings, it is even worse, but when I plugged in some Krampus greetings I found online, I came up with some hilariously off-the-mark translations—note, of course, that the correct translations could be quite different.

This one, for example, seems quite lovely:
Ich bin verliebt bis über beide Ohren, ich hab mein Krampusherz an dich verloren!


I’m head over heels in love, I lost my Krampus heart to you!

This one is debatable:
Die schlimmen Mädchen straf ich mit der Rute, die braven aber küss ich – auch dich, du Gute!


I punish the bad girls with a rod, but I kiss the good ones – you too, you good one!

And then there are these, which do not translate well!
Allerhand hört man von dir, das kostet Strafe – komm zu mir!


One hears all sorts of things about you that need punishment – come to me! You must pay!

Mäderl – ruck, ruck, ruck – an meine schwarze Seite!


Girl – jerk, jerk, jerk – to my black side!

Receiving a baked Krampus or a sweet treat on this day is still very common, keeping the tradition alive in a delicious way.

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